A Therapist’s Reflection: Positive Thinking

3 stories of 3 people, 3 positive thinkers to inspire you.

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars" (attributed to Katie Piper)

Venus Williams, Abraham Lincoln and Katie Piper are three very different people, from different worlds. What could they possibly have in common? In various ways, each one of them learned to ‘endure the darkness’ of suffering so that they could witness the magical brightness of stars, metaphorically speaking. All three people faced significant mental health issues, such as depression, or physical health issues or disabilities, or abject poverty. In each case, the issues they faced could have broken them, and nearly did, and yet each one struggled with and then found ways to be positive thinkers and to act positively. This process changed them and others, bringing their light to the world.

1. Positive thinking helps you to persevere and drive through life’s difficulties.

“A champion is defined not by their wins, but by how they can recover when they fall".

An example of someone who has navigated life’s difficulties with a positive mind set is Venus Williams, the tennis star. Williams has openly shared her struggles with anxiety and depression due to several factors - scrutiny as a world class athlete, an auto immune condition for which there is no cure, and postpartum depression following the birth of her daughter. Unfortunately, she was also subjected to racial insults while playing tournaments which were deeply hurtful and damaging.

Keen to help others, Venus Williams is an advocate for therapy, mindfulness and meditation. In 2022, Williams stated: “A champion is defined not by their wins, but by how they can recover when they fall". Despite these significant challenges, Venus Williams has won 23 Grand Slam titles and 4 Olympic Gold medals. She has campaigned for gender equality; supported educational initiatives via UNICEF; used her voice to raise awareness of the increased health risks black women face giving birth due to institutional racism; and supported startups for women and people of colour.

Clearly, despite Venus Williams’ personal struggles, she has been able to have an outward focus and to be service orientated to better the lives of others. We all have difficulties in life, but even in the darkest of times we can show our true character, make the best choices we can at the time, and accept that bad times are often followed by better times. Perhaps trying to be philosophical about adversity, can help us see our struggles are part of life, our human suffering connects us to others and can potentially enable us to strive to better the life chances of others, and therefore help empower ourselves.

2. Positive thinking can help you learn, change yourself and the world around you.

“Your own resolution to succeed, is more important than anything.”

“The best way to predict your future is to create it.”

Abraham Lincoln’s positive thinking led him to learn and educate himself, despite facing poverty and the death of his mother when he was just 9 years old. Soon after, Lincoln’s father quickly remarried. The family lived in a shack with a dirt floor. Lincoln’s father was illiterate, and Lincoln himself had only a year or so at school until his father removed him so that he could work on the farm to support the family. Despite this, Lincoln loved reading and endured beatings from his father for reading whilst being expected to do farming chores. His father even rented his son out to other farmers and kept the money that his son earned! Maybe this was one reason why Lincoln detested the injustice of exploitation and slavery? Such were the difficulties that Lincoln endured, that there were times when he suffered from depression which was so severe that his family feared that he might take his own life.

Nevertheless, with a determination to succeed against all odds, Lincoln learned all he could studying the Arts, Humanities and the Sciences claiming: “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed, is more important than any other one thing.” Moreover, he also stated: ‘you cannot fail, if you resolutely determine that you will not.” Lincoln’s achievements were many, but he is regarded as one of the greatest American Presidents who ever lived; he facilitated the Union’s victory in the American Civil War; and most importantly helped to abolish slavery. Famously, he crafted inspiring speeches and was known for being honourable, having high levels of integrity and honesty and courage in the face of adversity. Importantly, he helped to master himself, and his own shortcomings, for instance a tendency to be quick to anger, through being open to personal growth and education.

Abraham’s positive thinking and determination kept him open to learning and education. This helped him change not just his life but the course of American history and act against slavery.

3. Positive thinking energises you and makes you attractive to others.

“We're all responsible for our own happiness and the happiness in your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. I'm a big believer in positive thinking”

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Aged 24 Katie Piper was a model and tv presenter, when she was raped and stabbed by her ex-boyfriend. Subsequently, he organised for her to be attacked with acid. She was left disfigured by facial burns and burns to her arms and her chest, and blind in one eye. Consequently, she had to endure 30 operations over 2 years and was required to wear a burns mask for 23 hours a day. Sadly, she suffered from depression and anxiety due to her isolation following the attack and her recovery process.

Piper showed boundless courage in making a documentary about her recovery after the attack. Later, she would go on to create the Katie Piper Foundation to support burns and scarred survivors. Today, she is a writer, motivational speaker and campaigns for survivors of burns and victims of domestic violence amongst others, raising awareness and ensuring their voices are heard.

What can we learn from Katie Piper? We can learn that every day offers us a new opportunity to have a new start, to try to have the best day we can, not to take our bodies for granted. There is life after the most horrendous experience, pain and suffering. Katie Piper embodies a stoical attitude of ‘it is not what happens to you which defines you, it is what you chose to do afterwards.’

To conclude, positive thinking can help you expand on your perceived limits and open your mind to new possibilities. When a door shuts, try to be positive where appropriate, and find the new door which is inviting you to walk through it.

Try this:

· Set a positive intention

· Decide to follow through

· Be determined

· Believe you can achieve success

· Create a plan.

· Act as though success is on the way.

Finally, whilst positive thinking is important, it is also vital to be honest about how you feel and sit with difficult feelings rather than dismissing them. Finding a safe space and person to speak to about difficulties, perhaps in therapy, can be liberating and help you feel more attuned to yourself and your own needs. Denying or masking feelings to fit in can make people feel depressed and alone. Therefore, we need to be honest and careful to acknowledge all our feelings- the positive ones, and the negative ones- which can also guide and teach us wisdom.