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Four things which can predict a future break up in a conflict situation

  • Writer: Jasmine Cortazzi
    Jasmine Cortazzi
  • 4 days ago
  • 2 min read

  1. Are you and your partner overly critical of each other? Too much criticism can cause someone to shut down, withdraw, feel overwhelmed and lose confidence. It can also create anxiety, making it harder for someone to speak openly because they do not feel valued. A healthy relationship should feel positive, supportive and safe.

 

  1. Do you and your partner become defensive easily? This may suggest difficulty taking accountability, which is important for personal growth and maturity. When someone is defensive, they are less open to learning from the situation, which can leave their partner feeling alone and unheard. Try to listen carefully to what the other person is saying to you.

 

  1. Do you or your partner withdraw or become distant during difficult moments instead of talking things through? Avoiding conversation can create distance and leave their partner feeling shut out, rejected and hurt. Sometimes one person will need to talk but the other person will not be receptive so it is best to negotiate a time to talk.

 

  1. Do you or your partner belittle each other or show contempt? This may appear as eyerolling or comments such as, “Why are we talking about this again?” said in an intolerant or angry tone.


Silhouettes of a man and woman holding hands, split by a jagged crack in a weathered wall, suggesting a breakup or divide.

Points to remember when in a conflict situation

 

During conflict, both partners need to regulate their emotions. This might involve taking a walk, breathing deeply for several mimutes, or pausing for 15–20 minutes to:


  • notice what you are feeling and why;

  • focus on the facts of the situation and ask whether your reaction fits the facts;

  • consider whether the present issue is upsetting you or whether it has triggered something from the past;

  • decide what you want to communicate in a way that supports the relationship;

  • consider how you would like to convey that message? With calm, respect and consideration hopefully?

  • how would you like your partner to respond to the message?

  • remember that you love your partner and want the best for both of you.

  • be open to understanding the other person’s perspective.

 
 
 

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